I am not sure why I want to write these things down. But I seriously have a strong urge to write and share these stubborn feelings. These days I easily get bored. I was used to high-frequent pressured and tight schedule for the last few months. The last two weeks, with its enormous amount of free time, is not very relaxing for me to be honest. Somehow, I got lonely as much as during the time I was studying, if not more.
Anyway, I will adapt to this quickly as entertaining stuff is pretty easy to be found these days. The main topic of this post, however, is something a bit different. As I got a lot of time for myself: sleep a decent amount of time, go to the gym daily, start to eat healthily, etc, I also spent a great deal of time thinking and reflecting. While it is supposed to help me with my future, it was mainly about the past. So here it is. Just a mess of thoughts.
It has been one year. Crazily how quick time flies. I can still remember vividly that day. It was a long inter-continental flight followed by a ride by train from London back to my beloved Glasgow. I spent almost the whole day traveling back to my flat after a well-deserved trip. I was heart-broken, utterly sad, and crazily lonely.
If you have known me well for the last few years (or, even before that), you probably think of me as cheerful, carefree and, hopefully, charming. I think of myself the same way. However, during this time one year ago, I was under a very devasting time of my life. I barely want to do anything except, well, drinking. Right, I think I start to enjoy drinking during those days. If you are really close to me, you probably know the whole story and how miserable I was during the last summer. I am truly truly truly grateful for all the precious friends who have bear with me my whining and comforted me. It meant the world to me.
I don’t want to go into too much detailed of what happened for a good reason.
However, if I can travel back in time and meet myself, the best thing I could say for sure is:”Everything is going to be okay”.
So many times I wish everything to happen in different ways and I should have done these. However, it was meant to be. It cannot be undone. I suppose I have to learn to live with it and, even, be appreciated for what happened. Because, without those devasting time, I could have not become the man I am now. And I like myself now.
So let it be. Because everything is going to be okay.