I have a lot of good habits and skills. Yep, I can confidently say that. One of which is planning skill. Boys, I am good at planning and, a little less excellent, at following a plan. I almost always know what I need to do or start at what place. The thing is I had decided where I want to be in the next few years and the rest is pretty basic, working hard toward it. If I see an opportunity to achieve better, I grab it and adjust my plan with a little higher goal. I feel fine with the fact that I can often find useful things to do, books to read, stuff to learn anytime. I even sometimes call myself positive and visionary. Maybe I really am. The thing is, deep down in my heart, I am scared. I am scared of the possibilities. I am scared of being lost. At those negatively honest moments, I even think that all of my plans are just some kind of defensive ways so that I can feel safe. The problem with the specific plans is that they are amazingly useless against unexpected events. Occasionally, they can turn upside down your entire plan.
Recently, I get myself some alone time. The reason is pretty predictable, my plan does not work out as it is. I have a week off plan, not a big deal. I spent some quality time taking care of myself. However, somehow I still feel so empty inside. It is really strange to me since I always love doing what I am doing right now.
Well, even this post is strange to me because I have never published a post without a clear message.