Late Night Latte

In the mid-80s, some of my first lgbt friends shared with me their perception that their ‘real’ family was the one they chose. Groups of women, men, sometimes both, who shared housing, holidays, traumas, and joys.

I didn’t quite get that at the time. I lived within 10 miles of much of my family, was just coming out to myself, and hadn’t quite figured out what it meant for that traditional family relationship, if anything.

It was hard for me to believe a parent could ever turn their back on their child, or a child turn their back on a parent. That a stranger one day could become a de facto family member seemingly in the blink of an eye. That community meant something far more than a geographically-defined area.

20+ years later I’m still sometimes surprised by the realities and scope of our families.

Couples coming together.

Couples falling apart.

Close friends rallying around freshly-divorced or dumped friends.

Couples doing the make-a-baby dance, others sharing their love with foster and/or adopted children.

Pampering pets and blending them into a new family reality. (Yes, my dog can live with your cat. But does the iguana bite?)

Co-parenting post-split working for some, failing for others.

Single-by-choice women having and nurturing children on their own.

The childless partner in a new relationship with discovering just what life is like with kids involved. And loving it.

Middle-age sons and daughters making choices for aging parents.

Giving an opinion on donor choices.

Childless-by choice lgbt folks being the best de facto and bio aunts and uncles on the planet.

Now’s the time to break into a chorus of ‘We Are Family’ if you’d like.

I think I’ll just smile.

Happy Blogging for LGBT Families Day 2008!